NO, FLORIDA STATE LAW STUDENTS, THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS: Normally, I’d be on the side of adult law students complaining about a “dry” campus meant to thwart underage drinking. Universities need not reduce everything to the level of stupid kids. But this response from one Florida State law student is the dumbest excuse to drink. Staci explains that you don’t need alcohol on campus to improve your U.S. News rankings. THIS PARTNER DEFENSE OF ALLEGED PEDOPHILE ROY MOORE IS JUST DISGUSTING: Granted, there’s no “good” defense for multiple, well-sourced accusations that you groped a 14-year-old girl when you were in your 30s, but this “women are gold-diggers” defense is pretty bad. Kathryn explains here. SPEAKING OF MOORE, I BET HE’S NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO SUE THE WASHINGTON POST: It would be stupid for him to do so. He’s just saying he will because that’s what you want to hear. “JUST SAY NO” IS ALSO A STUPID LEGAL DEFENSE: Jeff Sessions’s reason for being against medical marijuana comes down to a stupid, discredited slogan. This 12-year-old girl might put a stop to it, once and for all. I explain her lawsuit here. DESPITE ALL OF THESE STUPID LAWYERS: Lawyers are incredibly useful. Joe explains the scientific evidence here.